YEAR 1 ESSAY QUESTIONS

I personally am really interested in the Russian Soviet Resolution and the rise of Constructivist design and the topic of Vkhutemas, but I need to really study it and get to grips with it. Which is a good thing as I'll gain a lot more from it, rather than writing and debating about things I already currently know about. I want to learn new stuff - Knowledge is power!

To help me decide I'll write a few notes on each question and what I could talk about/mention and see what I feel the most comfortable with.

Focusing on specific examples, describe the way that Modernist art & design was a response to the forces of modernity?

• Industrialisation in modernity
• Lack of personal feel to buildings, much more about the city than the people itself, e,g the painting of the guys on the balcony, looking out to Paris
• Similar to modernism, with the function before form aspect. Lack of 'personality' and quirkiness to the work. It does the job.
• Modernism house design, you don't control the house - the house controls you.
• Modernity was people getting tired of the norm and making new radical stuff, same as modernism.

Choosing a particular period from 1800 to present in what way has art of design responded to the social and cultural forces of that period?

• Effect of modernity and social changes and industrialisation in modernity and the response being modernism
• Effects of russian soviet resolution and Lenins decree for art and design to be raised in importance and the rise of constructivism and vkhutemas
• Changing gender equality and the difference in design, popova, stepanova etc. - the lack of female and male inspired sports and work uniforms
• Popova (stepanova?) being the lecturer at vkhutemas for textiles (i think) research into whether there was lots of positions of importance for females or if this was a changing trend at the time.
• The response of Russia to the eastern world, Tatlins mad sculptural shit and his sky bike. Showing russian ingenuity and forward thinking ness to modernity and modernism in Europe at the time, like in Paris.
• The similarities yet differences between vkhutemas and bauhaus, both were shut down by a political agenda. Bauhaus by Nazi Regime and vkhutemas in Stalin regime. Both movement also stopped,

Is it possible to describe any aspect of graphic design today as post-modern(ist)?

• Form before function
• quirkiness and individuality
• look at architecture and design shown in lectures that reference modernism but at the same time go against it
• post-modernism basically meaning a reacting to modernism

Could it be argued that fine art ought to be assigned more 'value' than graphic design?

• More money in fine-art
• Fine art is more elitist
• Graphic design has a bigger audience, designed to be interpreted and have a reaction from pretty much everyone, whereas FA( Fine Art) is more oersonal.
• Fine Art can give each different person some kind of reaction or remind them of something. But then again so can my fridge. To me, it could remind me of milk for a cup of tea. To other people they might have dropped one on their toe when they were carrying it so they're reminded of that.
• The little description things next to a work of fine art, kind of tells you what you think and you find yourself going "oh yeahhh, guess it does". GD shouldn't need a description, should be self explanatory, because of type etc.
• Refer to the Fine Art v Graphic Design seminar notes from (29/11)
• Allen Hori - Typography As Discourse
• Fine Art being pretentious, one person being called the "artist" yet loads of different people make it apart from the 'artist' e.g. the Damien Hirst shark. GD is probably made by a group of people, all usually clearly acknowledged. So although it doesn't look as 'personal' it's made by each persons hands. Should it not be worth more then?
• Pollock's paintings, if he spilt milk on it, would he be pissed off? Funded by CIA, did you know.

'Advertising doesn't sell things; all advertising does is change the way people think or feel' (Jeremy Bullmore). Evaluate this statement with reference to selected critical theories (past and present)

• Materialistic nature of people
• Bruce Mau quote about advertising.
• Social pressure, peer pressure, desire to 'better' yourself
• Society tells you as you are right now, is not adequate, you need the said product to be adequate
• E.g. CK adverts for perfume, buying a perfume subconsciously means you need the perfume to be a social person at parties etc.
• the aesthetic innovation, again making people feel inadequate and making them spend money. I think it's a mixture of both maybe? 
• Changes the way people feel IN ORDER TO sell a product. What's the point of just changing the way people feel like some sort of mystic - for the jokes?
• In media, T.I. (rapper) lyrics in What You Know "I'm fast as lightning bruhhh, better get yo' nike's bruhhhh" Implies that Nike makes you run faster, the advertising obviously worked on him.

This has been quite helpful, I still can't really decide which one to do. I think I have alot to say for the Fine Art v Graphic Design essay and the advertising essay but personally, as Richard advised us to, I don't feel it's really an issue I feel strongly about or one that may shape me as a designer in some way aesthetically. Russian constructivist design is something I find really interesting and the whole revolutionary and social history side of it is really interesting, I used to quite enjoy history at school! Whereas, in my Fine Art v GD essay I'd probably say GD should be assigned the same amount of value and continually knock Fine Art but I don't really have a lot against it and really enjoy it but I think there's a lot of loopholes there.

I think speaking to Richard in a tutorial would be really useful to set me on my way, but I need to have adequate knowledge and direction with what I want to stay and narrow it down to atleast 2 questions and arguments by the tutorial. So I can discuss with Richard before I pick one and crack on with it.

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SEMINAR NOTES: CRITICAL POSITIONS ON ADVERTISING:

Critical Positions on Advertising

-NY Times Square , Volume of info we get in everyday lives

-Pop-ups on the internet

-Junk mail, in the post, in e-mails. I don't need viagra thank you very much.

Even places like art galleries, something associated with free thinking and lack of advertising and commercialism have ads and billboards nowadays.

Marxist/Marxism

-wrote communist manifesto 1848, the way capitalism produces inequalities.

-said communism would emerge

CRITIQUE OF CONSUMER/COMMODITY CULTURE

Commodity - something that's traded

In commodity culture, we construct our identities through the consumer products that inhabit our lives. This is what Steward Ewen terms the "commodity self"

-Judith Williamson author of 'Decoding Advertisements'

"Instead of being identified by what they product, people identify themselves with what they consume." (Williamson. 1991:13)

For example, old adverts for the The Stanley Range were sold on their abilities to transform our lives, sold on its features. The product was at the forefront and focus of the advert.

Some years later, the same product starts to be sold with its symbolic associations.

SYMBOLIC ASSOCIATIONS 

B+W - classy. BOOK "no logo".

You kind of subconsciously want to get spray to be accepted to parties etc and be in the midst of new crowds 'livin the life', this will be your lifestyle once you get the spray. By magic.

How does commodity culture perpetuate false needs?

• aesthetic innovation
• planned obsolescence
• novelty

Channel 4 exists because of ad money.

People selling black phone, to get a white one. AESTHETIC INNOVATION.

Fasgion changing, stuff going out of fashion. Clothes, technology, apple products annually go out of date.

Social pressure

Planned obsolescence - missing bits out on purpose, e.g. missing camera out of iPad on purpose so they could put it in an iPad 2.

Marx concepts. "made in singapore"

Ignoring relationship between maker. In older society there was people like cobblers, blacksmiths etc. Everything was more personal.

Reification

• Products are given human associations
• Products themselves are perceived as sexy, romantic, cool, sophistaved, fun etc.
• Things seem "sexy" "fun" - e.g. 

Ferraris = sexy

Stillettos - Sexy

Glasses = Nerd

Frankfurt school (set up 1923)

Herbert Marcuse author of One Dimensional Man (1964)

Commodity culture manipulates us and makes us think one dimensionally - it stifles us and prevents us living full, meaningful and creative lives.

John Berger. Ways of Steering 

Why aren't cars made out of stainless steel > it'd last 70 years, but they don't wan't that. "I'm fast as lightning son, better get your nikes on." Thinking Nikes make you run faster.

11,000 new TV commercials made every year, which was a decade old stat. Probably triple that now with all the sky channels etc.

95 million new printed adverts produced each year.

5 commodities that make you who you are

• clothes - trainers, fashion, belonging to groups, aspiring to be something you're not. 
• food - e.g. halal food, can't eat certain meats
• Music - social, 
• Technology - macbook, iphones, etc, > blackberry >iPhone. Apple made brand synonymoush with hipness and creativity.
• Comics - says alot about you
• Marijuana
• Games
• Made food a sort of competition, M&S>Lidl. Aspire to buy more expensibe stuff. The way thry brand it. In Scotland it's "1 a day.

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'WHAT IS RESEARCH' PART 1

Some blabberings and notes from Fred's introductory lecture on the module OUGD405 and the importance of research

The more you find out, the better + more informed your research and in turn your design process and work will be

The more you put in, the more you get out

Set myself tasks of inquiry. Be more independent.

Time - management, don't work at silly times. It's a result of crap time management mostly. No one including the course tutors want you to have no sleep and be stressed out.

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR DESIGN PROCESS

Research informs your work and is one with your work

Last minute stuff is missing the point, meant to be a sustained process. Benefits your work and benefits you.

Fail, fail again, fail better.

In questioning how something failed, you can start to see how something would work.

>Stimulated approach
>Systematic appproach
>Intuitive approach

Strategies for thinking through a problem

Phase 1 Assimilation

-relevant info e.g. mood board

Phase 2 General Study

The study and investigation into problem

Phase 3 Development

Refinement + tentative solutions

Phase 4 - Communication - Communication

Communication of one or more solutions to people either inside or outside the design team.

Research is finding out by asking the questions. How? Why? What if?

It's ok to be inspired by people. Asking Qs isn't a sign of ignorance. Right Qs at right times is sign of a good and informed designer.

Research is - finding out by asking the questions. 

Always ask questions you never really "know" what they mean.

What is information

Information should be sufficient, competent, relevant and useful. 

Why is research important

>Fulfills assessable outcomes

>It is essential to the informed generation of ideas and development

>It is what you get paid for

>10% is resolving and sending to print

>90% is resoving, testing and applying knowledge. Testing.

RESEARCH IS DESIGN

DESIGN IS RESEARCH

Key is to start anywhere. Your job is to add interest to a brief. 

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STAG/HEN NIGHT STATISTICS

Here are some statistics I found about weddings/hen nights/stag nights.

• The average cost of a wedding in the UK is £17,384
• The curent divorce rate in the UK is 53.1%

Stag and hen night participation by region:

• 28% - North West
• 54% - Yorkshire, North East
• 25% - Anglia, Midlands
• 34% - South-West, Wales
• 23% - London
• 19% - South

Pretty interesting that the highest percentage is in Yorkshire, where we are...

• 32% of people will hold their stag or hen nights in another country

• Number of single 16-19 year olds - 98%
• Number of single 20-24 year olds - 80%
• Number of single 25-34 year olds - 35%

Top stag and hen night activities:

• Pubs, bars and clubs - 71%
• Meal out - 49%
• Event at home - 28%
• Themed party - 28%
• Adult entertainment - 26%
• Sports and extreme activities - 24%
• Driving activities - 21%
• Gambling activities - 21%
• Spa or beauty treatment - 20%
• Theatre or concert - 16%

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STAG DO's

TOP STAG LOCATIONS IN UK

From researching various websites such as Stagweb and Stagcompany (creative names much?). I can say that these are the 5 favourite stag locations in the UK according to Stagcompany

• Bournemouth
• Nottingham
• Brighton
• Newcastle
• Bristol

There's also plenty of package holidays specificly designed for stag do's. Such as Bournemouth for example...

Overall, according the Stagcompany, the cheapest seems to be Bristol and Nottingham with the base weekend packages being £110. 

It's probably cheaper to just arrange this stuff yourself though, it surely can't be harder than just thinking about travel costs and activities you take part in. Stressful being a best man ain't it!

TOP STAG LOCATIONS IN EUROPE

Again, using The Stagcompany as a source, the top stag locations in Europe are:

• Riga
• Amsterdam
• Prague
• Bratislava
• Marbella

Going abroad for a stag weekend isn't actually much more expensive than going somewhere like Newcastle. The most expensive package averages just under £200. The cheapest package is actually at Riga.

There's actually tons of websites and guides about stag do's and speeches etc so this suggests to me it actually is quite a difficult and stressy thing to sort out. Another website which deals with this is chillisauce 

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DEALING WITH ANXIETY

I am sure being a best man can be quite nerve-wracking and stressful - a wedding's probably pretty stressful for all parties - but a best man has plenty to do and worry about. Here's some helpful websites and information dealing with anxiety which I'm sure any budding best man will be interested to educate himself on.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is a normal, if unpleasant, part of life, and it can affect us all in different ways and at different times. Whereas stress is something that will come and go as the external factor causing it (be it a work, relationship or money problems, etc.) comes and goes, anxiety is something that can persist whether or not the cause is clear to the sufferer.

Anxiety can make a person imagine that things in their life are worse than they really are, and prevent them from confronting their fears. Often they will think they are going mad, or that some psychological imbalance is at the heart of their woes. What is important is the recognition that anxiety is normal and exists due to a set of bodily functions that have existed in us from our cave-man days.

Back then, we were equipped with an internal alarm system designed to protect us from the dangers surrounding us in the wild. This system would make us hyper-alert by giving us a boost of adrenaline that would increase the heart rate and boost the amount of oxygen going to our limbs so we were better able to fight or run from danger. This is known as the “fight or flight” response. The “butterflies in the stomach” feeling that many associate with anxiety is this mechanism kicking in, but instead of being used to avoid immediate danger, it is often wrongly and inappropriately activated in a person during normal, everyday situations when stress has built up, often unknowingly.

Some people have a very identifiable cause for their anxiety; a traumatic incident, lots of stressors or have undergone a significant life event (moving house, getting divorced, having surgery). However, some people don’t have an identifiable cause for their anxiety and it causes them some distress. One way of thinking about your anxiety is to imagine your stress levels as being like a bucket of water. If we keep adding stressors to the bucket (even tiny ones like the school run or commuting to work), over time it fills up until one day it overflows. This can be a good way of looking at anxiety as it explains why sometimes it can seem to come out of the blue with no significant trigger. However, what has happened is that the trigger was just a very small stressor that tipped us over the edge and allowed our bucket to overflow. What we need is a leaky bucket with lots of holes in to reduce your overall stress levels. Each one of these holes could be something positive that you do to manage your anxiety, such as yoga, exercise, reading, listening to music or spending time with friends or family.

Symptoms of anxiety

People often experience physical, psychological and behavioural symptoms when they feel anxious or stressed.

Some of the most common physical symptoms of anxiety are:

• Increased heat rate
• Increased muscle tension
• “Jelly legs”
• Tingling in the hands and feet
• Hyperventilation (over breathing)
• Dizziness
• Difficulty in breathing
• Wanting to use the toilet more often
• Feeling sick
• Tight band across the chest area
• Tension headaches
• Hot flushes
• Increased perspiration
• Dry mouth
• Shaking
• Choking sensations
• Palpitations

Some of the most common psychological symptoms (the thoughts or altered perceptions we have) of anxiety are:

• Thinking that you may lose control and/or go “mad”
• Thinking that you might die
• Thinking that you may have a heart attack/be sick/faint/have a brain tumour
• Feeling that people are looking at you and observing your anxiety
• Feeling as though things are speeding up/slowing down
• Feeling detached from your environment and the people in it
• Feeling like wanting to run away/escape from the situation
• Feeling on edge and alert to everything around you

The most common behavioural symptom (the things we do when we are anxious) is avoidance. Although avoiding an anxiety provoking situation produces immediate relief from the anxiety, it is only a short term solution. This means that whilst it may seem like avoiding is the best thing to do at the time, the anxiety often returns the next time that you face the situation and avoiding it will only psychologically reinforce the message that there is danger. The problem with avoidance is that you never get to find out whether your fear about the situation and what would happen is actually true." AnxietyUK

There are even forums for people in the same situation to get to know each other and share advice/experiences. Such as nomorepanic

Here is a post from a member:

"So for some of those symptoms try the following

Shaking hands or limbs - clench the hands tight like a fist , hold it and take a deep breath in throught your nose , release the fist as you release the breath out through your nose, by doing this slowly and calmly Not only are we releasing the adrenalin that has built up but we are also taking control of our breathing which will calm our nervous system down.

Lump in throat or tight throat - If you suffer with this then it is usually because when we are tense we walk around with our TOUNGE permanantly place up in the roof of our mouth clenched and tight, and by doing this we IMMEDIATLY tense the throat and jaw area , causing muscle tension , so make a effort to check where your tounge is placed in the mouth and attempt to keep it lowered ,

Pain in shoulders and neck / headaches -- again when tense we walk or sit with our shoulders hunched up around our ears , this causes tension in the neck and head , drop the shoulders , keep a eye on where you hold them and if you feel pain or discomfort when you do this its Ok its Just that your body isnt used to feeling relaxed given time you will re-train yourself to carry yourself properly and in a more relaxed state.

Palpitations - - Horrible I know but is yet another symptom of anxiety , We do tend to monitor it when we feel our heart going ten to the dozen and this is where we make it seem much worse than it actually is - TRY TO REMEMBER A STRONG FAST BEATING HEART IS A GOOD HEART and no harm will come to you or your heart,, if at night time you struggle to sleep for listening to your own heart when lieing down then place to pillows on the bed and rest your head on the crack between the two pillows , this will help you to stop monitering and listening to yourself.

Dizzy or sick spells - again Not nice but very common , when we have anxiety we burn off sugar very fast or we dont eat enough , you should really be trying to eat 4 or 5 small meals a day rather than 2 or 3 large ones and if you feel sick or dizzy then try a sweet cup of tea or a buiscuit to help replenish your sugar levels , every symptom you feel has a logical explanation for it and once you discover how to help yourself beating anxiety becomes much easier.


Depersonalization - this is simply a result of a tired mind , when we have anxiety we seem to think about things 24/7 and of course this tires us out , instead of curling up in bed or on the sofa praying this stops simply do the breathing excersise for 20 minutes , doing this will give your mind time to rest and your body time to relax, doing a good excerise for 20 minutes is the same as allowing the body and mind 2 hours sleep ....... well worth doing and i suggest even if your having a good day try to do this for 20minutes at least 3 times a day this will allow you to keep your body relaxed and in the state it should be.

Intrusive thoughts ----- Horrible again belive me i been there , but remember these are JUST thoughts and again its the way we react to them that matters , dont sit there thinking and pondering about the why's if's and maybe's , get up do something , read a book , play a game crosswords or even bake some bread or cakes anything to take your mind away from your thought, its impossible to think about two things at the same time, I know it seems you can but trust me you CANT and eventually if you stick with distraction it does work .

Exercise - Essential for recovery , try to do some low impact excersises each day it may be a little walk or cycling or even swimming , Yoga is excellant for anxiety and good excerise releases the body's own nautal endorphines which makes us feel good and happy , well worth doing

Sleep - We all sruggle from time to time with our sleeping patterns , try if you can to stop nappin during the day , if you feel you must then be sensible about it , set a alarm and give yourself a hour or perhaps 2 then get up , dont lie there in a half asleep state thinking about things get up and do something constructive , if you wake during the night and struggle to get bak off to sleep again dont lie there get up , go clean or get a nice warm drink you have to start breaking the cycle and habbits that we so easily form when we suffer with anxiety or panic

Panic Attack - Ok firstly try to break the cycle of being scared something terrible is going to happen IT WONT , Runnin away simple creates more problems and makes us feel a failure , if you feel panic coming where ever you are try this

Drop your shoulders , focus on something near by - a shop window , a lamp post or even a tin of beans if your in the supermarket , take a slow deep breath in through your nose count to 4 , release it our again through the nose and repeat , tell yourself its Ok it will pass and you WILL be ok , do this for a few moments then continue with what you were doing , you may feel slightly dizzy or sick , this is Ok its as a result of your levels returning to normal , take a sweet and suck it this will help with the nausau , anyone who Knows me Knows i have a constant supply of mints in my handbag for such occasions .

Ok if anyone has other symptoms of needs advice on anything in paticular leave a post and i will reply

Michelle

This post is by a former member of NMP. Michelle can no longer be contacted through this site but please feel free to continue posting on the forum for further advice and support.

Regards


Lisa

NMP Administrator"  nomorepanic

Some more tips from successconsciousness:

1. Lack of control over your thoughts, strengthens your anxiety. As negative thoughts get stronger, your anxiety gets stronger too. You need to learn to control your thoughts.

2. Feelings and emotions fuel and strengthen anxiety. You need to develop some self discipline, and learn to have control over your feelings. You also need to develop some degree of emotional detachment.

3.When you go to bed at night, and first thing when you wake up in the morning, think about the good things that are happening to you. There are always some good things happening, even if small and insignificant.

4. Start the day with several minutes of positive affirmations. Tell yourself how would like your day to be. Use positive, cheering and motivating words.

5. Be busy and do something, since activity keeps your mind off your anxiety. When you wake up in the morning, start doing something right away, and keep busy all day. Cleaning the house, washing the dishes or working in your garden, reading, studying, meditating, or exercising your body can help you keep your mind away from anxiety. Staying idle, and thinking about your problems and worries won't make them go away.

6. Set a goal and work everyday to achieve it. This action will direct your thoughts and feelings away from worries and anxieties, toward something more positive and constructive.

7. Talk about your anxieties to someone you trust. Talking about your anxieties and feelings can alleviate them, and put them in the right proportions, provided you talk objectively, and with a real desire to get rid of your anxiety, or at least reduce its intensity.

8. Exercising your body and staying fit, is a good way to keep fears and anxieties away. You can walk, swim, do yoga, aerobics, or any other sport.

9. Find reasons to laugh. This will bring light and happiness into your life, and drive anxiety away. Watch comedies on TV, be with happy and amusing friends, or read something that makes you laugh.

10. Use positive words in your conversation and in your inner talk.

11. Affirm and visualize positive situations and events. Visualize a happy and positive solution to your problems.

12. If watching the news fills you with anxiety - turn off the TV! Limit the time you watch the news, and don't watch anything that might upset you, before you go to bed.

The tips and information in this article do not replace professional advice.

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ART OF MANLINESS: 10 STEPS TO THE BEST BEST MAN SPEECH

Again, Art Of Manliness is the bane of my life. Here are their 10 steps to writing the best best man speech ever.

10 Steps to the Best Best Man Speech

by BRETT on JULY 22, 2008 · 33 COMMENTS

in MANLY SKILLS

Photo by trubluetitan

Last week we did a post on resurrecting the lost art of oratory and we will soon begin a weekly post on writing and delivering a great speech. But before we start that, we wanted to do a special post on the single piece of oratory almost every man will be asked to give at least once: the best man speech.

Indeed, at some point in your life, one of your buddies or your brother will probably ask you to be the best man in his wedding. This is a great honor. One of the duties of a best man is to give a speech wherein you say a few kind words about your friend/brother and his new wife. If you’ve been to many weddings, you know that oftentimes best man speeches can quickly devolve into an awkward, drunken spectacle. The mixture of booze and lack of preparation results in the best man rambling and sharing inappropriate and embarrassing stories about the groom in front of hundreds of family and friends.

If you don’t want to make yourself look like a huge ass and you want to truly be the best man, here are a few pointers to keep in mind as you prepare to give your speech:

1. Prepare. Don’t walk into the wedding reception thinking you’ll know exactly what to say when you get there. If you have a few months before the wedding, start mulling over some ideas for the speech. Begin brainstorming and jotting down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes you might want to use. If you don’t know a lot about how your buddy and his wife met, ask. Think of stories from you and your buddy’s past that show what a great guy he is. The goal of the speech is to celebrate the couple and make them look good.

2. Stay sober. Sure, you want to enjoy yourself, and yes, alcohol may help take the edge off of giving a speech in front of hundreds of strangers; they don’t call alcohol liquid confidence for nothing. But make sure you’re not sloppy drunk when you give your speech. You don’t want to be completely uninhibited or you might say something you’ll regret later on. Besides, a real man doesn’t need a crutch to help him tackle a challenge. Be man enough to postpone your own gratification until after the speech is completed.

3. Open by expressing gratitude. Thank all the people who made the day possible. Single out the bride and groom’s parents by name, and offer a toast to them for not only putting on the wedding but for raising two fine people. Thank the guests for coming.

4. Tell a story-make a connection. The ideal way to structure a best man speech is to find a connection between a story about your friend and your support for the couple. Share a story about how your friend would always lament that he would never find a woman with x,y, and z qualities, but how he finally did in his new bride. Or tell a story about the moment when you were hanging out with the couple and you realized your friend had found his match. Another good angle is to talk about the way that the bride and groom balance one another. Relate a funny (not embarrassing, see below) anecdote in which one of your buddy’s personality traits tripped him up in some way. For example, the story could be about how your friend is very shy and how this shyness caused some humorous event to occur. You then talk about how bubbly and outgoing his bride is, and how they therefore balance each other and make a perfect team.

5. Avoid controversial topics. Keep your speech on topics that aren’t controversial, offensive, or embarrassing. You would think this is common sense, but people somehow forget this when they’re standing with a microphone in their hand in front of a crowd of people. What gets people in trouble is attempting to be funny by sharing some embarrassing story or cracking some lame joke about a ball and chain. It usually comes out horribly and no one laughs. It’s okay to share a humorous anecdote, but not one that gets laughs at the expense of your friend and his new wife and embarrasses them and their guests.

Don’t talk about the groom’s past relationships, don’t tell people what you really thought of your buddy’s wife when you first met her, don’t slam the food, don’t make comments about “looking forward to the honeymoon” while winking at the bride- basically, just use some tact and common sense.

6. Avoid inside jokes. I hate when people do this in small groups. I hate it even more when people do it in front of larger groups. If you want to keep people’s attention, save the inside jokes for when it’s just you and your friend.

7. Keep it short. Nothing irritates people more than some rambling drunk going on and on and on. People have probably already listened to the maid of honor and the bride’s father give their spiel. By the time they get to you, the crowd is ready to eat cake and get on with it. Shoot for no more than five minutes.

8. End with a quote. An easy way to end is by using a quote that wraps the speech up nicely. In “How Do You Know When She’s the One?” I shared the quote my father-in-law used at my wedding. You can’t go wrong with it: “Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it’s about finding the person you can’t live without.” After that you can simply say, “My friend has found that person.” The End.

9. Raise your glass and propose a toast. Raise your glass and say something to the effect of: “Here’s to a lifetime of happiness and love for ____ and ____!”

10. Remember to be yourself. No need to get formal or try to be someone you’re not. And there’s no need to follow these instructions exactly either. Simply use them as a guide and be yourself. Let it flow naturally. Use your natural voice and mannerisms. Make it personal and sincere and say things from the heart and you should be golden.

Here’s your crib sheet:

1. Open by thanking those who made the day possible-end with saying “Thank you to all those who have made it here today.”

2. Transition to your speech: “I am especially glad to be here on this occasion to celebrate this wonderful day with my friend/brother.”

3. Talk about how you know the groom, why you’re grateful for having him as your friend, and why he’s such an upstanding guy.

4. Share a story about your friend and connect it to the couple

5. Raise your glass and ask everyone to join in a toast to the happy couple

6. Let out a sigh of relief

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ART OF MANLINESS: HOW TO THROW A BACHELOR PARTY + THE ORIGINS

Again. Art of Manliness have a very traditional, classy approach. They refer to it as a Bachelor Party, Not a lads night aaat in Benidorm. Here's what they have to say, quite interesting actually.

Throw a Classy Bachelor Party

by BRETT & KATE MCKAY on JANUARY 8, 2009 

If you are selected to be your friend’s best man in his wedding, you have several important responsibilities to fulfill. The first is to plan a bachelor’s party for your buddy. When most people hear “bachelor party,” they think keg stands and g-strings.

In today’s article, we discuss the honorable origins of the bachelor party and how you can throw one with real class for your bud.

The History of the Bachelor Party

Men may be surprised to learn that the tradition of having a bachelor party is rooted in ancient times. The Spartans, who originated the idea in the 5th century BC, would hold a dinner for the groom-to-be on the night before his wedding. The evening would be spent feasting and toasting the groom and each other.

The tradition of having a “bachelor’s dinner” continued into modern times. In the 1940′s and 50′s the occasion was called a “gentlemen’s dinner.” It was thrown by the groom’s father and involved the same toasting and eating that the Spartans had enjoyed. These bachelor dinners were designed for male bonding and to celebrate the groom-to-be’s important rite of passagefrom single life to marriage.

Some time during the last few decades, the “dinner” was dropped and replaced by “party.” This was more than just a change in semantics; the ethos and impetus for the tradition began to be transformed. It no longer became an occasion to celebrate the groom, but rather an opportunity for the groom to have one more night of freedom before settling down. Consequently, the bachelor party became an occasion to do all those things which would be considered verboten after the vows had been spoken. Dinner and toasting was replaced by, or supplemented with, strippers, gambling, and copious amounts of alcohol.

Fortunately, these kinds of parties have been going out of style of late. Such parties neither honor the bride-to-be, who will be stressed by the temptations her fiancée may succumb to, nor respect your friend, who has likely reach a point of maturity in which he feels ready to get married and settle down. For the groom-to-be, marriage does not likely signal the end to his days of strip clubs and bar hopping, he having left behind those things some time ago. But marriage will leave him less time to hang with his boys. So instead of viewing a bachelor party as your friend’s last chance for debauchery, a party should really serve as a golden opportunity for male bonding, a chance to do activities that may become less frequent post-marriage, and a time to blow off pre-nuptial jitters.

Pick an Activity

The first step in planning a bachelor party is to choose an activity to center the party around. Just because your fiesta won’t involve stuffing dollar bills into g-strings, doesn’t mean that it has to be a boring affair. There are plenty of other activities that will unleash your testosterone and get your heart pumping. Here are just a few ideas:

• Rent jet skis for a day on the water
• Go snow skiing or snowboarding
• Attend a professional or collegiate sporting event
• Attend a boxing or MMA match
• Spend the day golfing
• Take a deep sea fishing trip, charter a fishing boat, or take a lesson in fly fishing
• Plan a game of a football, basketball, soccer, or bowling
• Create a casino night, complete with a paid dealer
• Go paintballing

Take a camping or backpacking trip

Tips:

• Don’t do anything insanely dangerous. You want to have fun, but you don’t want to risk breaking one of the groom’s limbs. He’ll find it difficult to go scuba diving on his honeymoon with a cast on his leg.

• It’s nice to surprise your friend with what he’ll be doing at his party, but be sure to cater to his personality and interests.

• Consider the relative budgets of your friends. You don’t want some of the groom’s friends to skip the party because they can’t afford to come.

• After you choose an activity for the bachelor’s party, plan for a meal to follow it. If it’s warm, a backyard cookout makes an excellent choice. If it’s cooler, or you simply desire something more formal, rent a room at your friend’s favorite restaurant.

• At the dinner, encourage your friends to make funny roasts and poignant toasts. They may also wish to impart words of wisdom to the groom. If you have some advice, or want to say things that won’t be included in your upcoming best man’s speech, feel free to contribute to the toasting.

Choose a Date

There are several considerations to take into account when planning the date of the party. While it is tempting to have the party the night before the wedding when all the guests are in town, this is not an appropriate choice. The groom needs to be sharp for the next day’s ceremony, not all tuckered out. Also, a rehearsal dinner is often planned for the same night and would conflict with your party. So choose a date several weeks before the wedding. If many of the groom’s friends live out-of-state, you may want to push it back even further, so they need not twice make the same trip in a short period of time.

Send Out the Invitations

Invite all the men in the wedding party and all of the groom’s good friends and male relatives with whom he is close.

Send out the invitations about three weeks before the party. The invitations should match the party’s level of formality. If the party is to be formal, send quality, written invitations through the mail. If the party is going to be a more casual affair, a phone call or email will do. If the party will involve an activity such as the ones mentioned above, include information such as the cost, meeting place and time, maps, etc.

Each invitee should be responsible for paying for the cost of himself and chipping into the cost for the groom. In the invitation, include a respectful request for a check to be sent to you for the appropriate amount.

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ART OF MANLINESS: DUTIES OF A BEST MAN

art of manliness is a really cool website, about just, well, being a man.

Here's what they have to say about the duties of being a best man, it's quite in depth and it'll help me make a summary of the general stuff that being a best man involves:

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“Wedding season” is currently upon us. June is the most popular month for weddings, and they’ll be going full steam from now until September. You may have received a few invitations in the mail or even been asked to be your friend’s or brother’s best man.

Being asked to be the best man in a wedding is a great honor. We don’t get bestowed with the title “best” very often in our lives. It shows that your friend or family member holds your relationship in great esteem. You’ve been his go-to guy in life; now he needs you to be his point person during this weighty rite-of-passage. So don’t just shuffle through your role; instead, help your buddy through the most important day of his life by stepping up and fulfilling your duties with competence.

Just what are those duties? Here’s a rundown of your responsibilities as the best man:

Before the Wedding

Plan the bachelor party. This is one of your biggest responsibilities. Luckily, we’ve written up ahandy guide on just how to do it.

Get fitted for a tux/suit. In former times, etiquette dictated that the groom pay for rental or purchase of the tuxes for his groomsmen. These days, the groom often expects you to pony up the dough yourself. Personally, I find it in poor taste to ask someone to be in your wedding and then expect them to pay for their own tux, but it’s become a common practice.

Whether you’re buying or renting, paying or not, you will likely be expected to get fitted for your tux or suit. You’re responsible for showing up to the appointment and making sure the other groomsmen do as well.

Go to the rehearsal. The day before the wedding, there will be a rehearsal held where the actual wedding will take place. It can’t start without you, so be sure to arrive on time. It should only last for a half an hour or so.

Go to the rehearsal dinner. After the rehearsal, those in the wedding party (and other family and friends the couple may have invited) will head over to the rehearsal dinner, typically held at a restaurant. There is usually toasting at the dinner, and while you are welcome to make a toast, I recommend holding off until your big speech at the wedding reception. You don’t want to use up your best material.

The Day of the Wedding

A wedding day is a whirlwind of activity. Your job as the best man is to take the burden of stress off the groom and onto your shoulders. You’ll be his go-to guy: his support, assistant, and valet. You make sure things are in place, that the groom has what he needs, gets to where he needs to be, and stays relaxed. If you do your job right, the groom will only need to worry about walking down that aisle.

Before the Ceremony

Hang out with the groom as he dresses for the ceremony. Keep your friend calm and relaxed (although not with spirits). There may be some downtime before the ceremony, so play some video games and just chill. Skip questions like, “Dude, are you sure you want to do this?” and instead offer calming encouragement.

Make sure the groom has whatever he needs. Not just for the wedding but for the honeymoon as well. He may not be coming back to his house/hotel/apartment before heading off into the sunset with his bride. So make sure he has the marriage license, that he’s all packed, and that the luggage, tickets, passport, etc. get put in the car.

Drive the groom over to the wedding location. Get there at least 30 minutes before the ceremony starts.

Distribute the boutonnieres and make sure the groomsmen are wearing them properly. They should be placed in the buttonhole of the left lapel of one’s suit jacket. If there’s no buttonhole, then pin them there.

At the Ceremony

Enter with the groom. The order of the wedding processional varies by the type of wedding and the couple’s faith tradition, but most frequently the minister or priest, best man, and groom (in that order) come into the church through a side door at the front.

Hold onto the groom’s ring. It’s your job to keep the ring safe and sound in your pocket and to fish it out at the appropriate time during the ceremony. This is one thing you absolutely don’t want to flub, lest you end up as a clip on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Don’t faint. See the aforementioned reference to AFV.

Escort the maid/matron of honor out of the church at the conclusion of the ceremony.

Sign the marriage license. After the wedding, you may be asked to be a witness and sign the marriage license.

At the Reception

Dance with the matron/maid of honor and the bridesmaids.

Kick off the toasting with the best man speech. This is the job that probably first comes to mind when you think about being the best man. And it’s probably the job you’re most nervous about. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered with a foolproof plan to knock your speech out of the park.

An interesting side note: The best man used to also read telegrams from well-wishers who couldn’t make it to the ceremony. Sounds like a nice tradition from bygone days.

Image from freeparking

Decorate the getaway car. During the reception, sneak out with your groomsmen and decorate the bride and groom’s getaway mobile. Make it kitschy, a little embarrassing, but notuber annoying. And of course, don’t get too carried away and damage the car. Use your judgment in how far to take it by how good of sports the bride and groom are.

Tying some cans with string to the underside of the car is classic, as is writing on the windows with window paint. Stick some balloons on the outside and stuff them in the interior. Tape some ribbons to the hubcaps. Stick on some window clings. They make personalized wedding specific ones, but I would go with something truly random like Dale Earnhardt, I Love My Coonhnound, and Hannah Montana. But that gives you an idea of my sense of humor.

If they’re renting a limo or a slick set of wheels, you’ll probably have to skip this step.

So in summary:

• Plan bachelor party/stag do
• Get fitted for a tux/suit
• Go to the pre-wedding day rehearsal
• Hang out with the groom as he dresses for the ceremony
• Make sure groom has whatever he needs
• Drive the groom to wedding location
• Distribute the boutonniere's and make sure all the groomsmen are wearing them properly
• Enter with the groom
• Usually the groom/best man/minister enter through a sider door somewhere
• Don't bloody faint!
• Carry the ring, don't lose it!
• Escort the maid/maid of honour out of the church at the conclusion of the ceremony
• Sign/witness the marriage license
• Dance with the maid/matron of honour and the bridesmaids
• Kick off the toasting with the best man speech
• Decorate the getaway car
• Look after the grooms tux, cleaners or rental place.

So basically, you need to be the grooms right hand man, do all the worrying and faffing about for him and make sure everything runs smoothly. Escort him to the location, carry his ring and make sure you don't lose it. Do the best man speech and make sure everything runs smoothly and they go off on their honeymoon without any hitches. Sounds easy...ha.

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